Consider the Lilies

Some ask, why did you pick the name Lily for your baby girl?  How did you come up with it? Is it a family name?  Well, to me, Lily means so much more. This is the story of why we named our Lily............"Lily♥.”

When Matt and I found out we were expecting a baby, we were thrilled!! We were thankful that we were able to get pregnant right away, as we had always wanted to be young parents. We couldn't wait to tell our parents that they would be grandparents and our siblings that they would have a niece or a nephew. More than anything, we couldn't wait to have a sweet little baby girl or boy of our very own to love and to have the privilege of being parents to. 

Some of you know that my pregnancy was anything but easy. When I was six weeks pregnant I went home to visit my family. I was having some symptoms that didn't feel right and continued to progressively get worse. I was absolutely sure that I had lost the baby and was having a miscarriage. Naturally, I am a very optimistic person, but I truly thought I had lost the baby and began to think about what the next steps would be for me. I felt broken, empty, and numb. I thought about my Papa Jack in heaven and was only comforted by the thought of him along side Jesus being with my child in heaven until I could make it there myself.

At the emergency room, we didn't hear the heart beat on the fetal monitor, it was too early. Instead, they did an ultrasound. I didn't even want to look at the screen; I didn't want to hear the doctor tell me what I already thought I knew. But when I looked up, there was the little baby dot with the heart beating! Even more incredible to me was that little baby was positioned inside a heart. For whatever reason, from the angle the ultrasound was taken, my uterus was in the shape of a heart, with baby resting at the bottom. It was as if God was telling me how much he loved this baby and that he was taking care of him or her. Matt arrived soon after, (he had driven all the way from the westside as soon as he heard I went to the emergency room) and together we rejoiced. The doctor explained that I had what was called a "threatened miscarriage," but wasn't sure of the cause, and advised me to take it real easy until I could see my own doctor.

A few days later my mom and I were driving in Pullman, talking about how incredible it was that the baby was shown inside a "heart." Then, she said, awww that sweet little "Lily." I was so taken back by that. Matt and I had begun to talk about names, and Lily was one of our favorites for a girl, but I hadn't told anyone that. "Mom, why did you call the baby Lily?" I asked. She didn't know, other than that she was just so sure that the baby was a girl.

When I returned to the westside again, I got in early with my OBGYN as the doctor at the emergency room had instructed. She ran some tests and it was determined that the cause of the "threatened miscarriage" was due to a tear in the placenta. She explained that sometimes the tear will heal itself and the baby will hold on, other times not. There was nothing I could do, but the doctor prescribed bed rest anyways in the hopes that this would make a difference. I remained on semi-bedrest for 10 weeks. No exercise, house work, lifting etc. Finally, at the end of 16 weeks, I was off bedrest but was suppose to take it "easy." But, I was still fearful. Fearful of doing something that could hurt our sweet baby. I was scared to exercise.  I was scared to play too rough with our golden retriever puppy or to be silly wrestling with Matt. I was scared to lift anything. I was scared to be on my feet too long. I was scared that those symptoms would come back, and that the next time we went to the doctor, we wouIdn't hear a heartbeat. I was  terrified of loosing our baby.

In the midst of all this, I received some testing done to determine if I was a carrier of the recessive gene for Spinal Muscular Atrophy, the form of Muscular Dystrophy that my brother was diagnosed with that has confined him to a wheelchair since he was five years old. While I wasn't born with the disease, it is still possible for me to have a child with this disability if both my husband and I are carriers of the recessive gene. My test results came back positive for the SMN1 abnormal gene meaning that I am a silent carrier of the recessive gene. This was frightening to me, because now I knew we needed to have Matt tested. However, I wasn't surprised that I was a carrier, because it was 50/50 odds since both of my parents are carriers. Being a silent carrier doesn't mean that you have the disease, it means that you don't have the disease, but that if your husband is also a carrier of the same recessive gene, then there is a 25% chance that your child could be born with Spinal Muscular Atrophy. Matt's test came back negative for the SMN1 abnormal gene, therefore there is a zero chance that our child would be born with Spinal Muscular Atrophy. This was very stressful. My brother is my hero and my biggest inspiration, but I didn't want my son or daughter to have to go through what he has. By God's grace, Matt's results were negative, therefore all of our future children will not be affected by Muscular Dystrophy.

During this time, I ended up switching to a different OBGYN. The doctor I was seeing for the first 16 weeks was hard to talk to and seemed very negative. This had been such a hard pregnancy so far, and I needed a doctor who provided me hope. Before we received Matt's genetic results (which ended up being lost in the mail), Dr. Kennedy was very encouraging and optimistic that our baby would be just fine.

At 24 weeks I was feeling great. I'd been off bedrest for a few weeks now and was beginning to get excited about meeting my baby! We found out that we were having a little girl!!! We were ecstatic. I always thought I would have lots of boys, but I always hoped I would get at least just one girl. On the way home we stopped by Old Navy, and Matt picked out this adorable pink halter dress for her first summer.

At the next doctor's appointment, Dr. Kennedy mentioned that he noticed something on the anatomical review of the ultrasound pictures taken. He explained that she had what is called a "2 vessel cord." During the anatomy ultrasound, one of the things they look for is the presence of three vessels within the umbilical cord: one vein (which carries oxygen and nutrients from you to the baby) and two arteries (which shuttle that waste back to you, to be processed and disposed of by your kidneys). Instead of those three vessels, the ultrasound showed our baby’s cord having only two: one vein and one artery.  These results were scary to me, I could only imagine what effects this “could have” on our baby. Knowing that I would google it, the doctor assured me that there are countless perfectly normal babies born that had two vessel cords, but if I googled it, I would probably come across some scary possibilities. He also said that our baby was measuring perfectly from the ultrasound and that we should not worry unless future ultrasounds indicated otherwise.

For the remainder of my pregnancy I had weekly Non-Stress Tests. During these, the fetal monitor is placed across my tummy and I was supposed to push a button every time I felt the baby move. Movement was supposed to correlate with the baby’s heart rate increasing above a certain level. They needed 3 of these within a 20-40 minute period, and if it wasn’t up to the doctor’s standards, then I was sent to receive a biophysical ultrasound where they can take a better look at the baby, check for practicing of breathing,  movements, fluid, and take measurements.  Our baby always seemed to be sleeping during the Non-Stress tests despite my efforts to get her to move by eating sugar (M&Ms, Strawberry Orange Julius, Fruit Snacks) buzzing my belly with a little vibrator the nurse had me try, and putting music playing on my IPod up against my belly.  Countless times, I was sent down for the Biophysical ultrasound which showed that our girl was just fine.

I began having contractions on November 29^th at 8:00PM. My water didn’t break, and I kept waiting for the contractions to become excruciating. Finally, at 12:15 am we went into the hospital as the contractions became more intense.  After 19 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing, our baby girl was born. It seemed that there were 15 people in the room, as they immediately took her and began checking her over. They gave her a little oxygen, and checked over all her vital organs to make sure they were working properly. She was perfect. Finally, my baby girl, Lily was in my arms. At last she was here and she was perfect.

But why did we name her Lily? In the midst of all the tests Matt and I were still deciding between names. We both still really liked the name Lily among many others. I was researching the top names on our list, looking at their meanings and history, wanting to pick one that was special. When it came to Lily, I read that it stands for innocence, purity, and beauty. I thought this was sweet and decided to take it further. I also wanted a name that had biblical significance for me. I decided to look up all the verses in the bible that talked about lilies. I was reading through many verses:

Song of Solomon 2:1 I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys.

Song of Solomon 2:2 As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters

Song of Solomon 6:2 My beloved is gone down into his garden, to the beds of spices, to feed in the gardens, and to gather lilies.

Hosea 14:5 I will be as the dew unto Israel: he shall grow as the lily, and cast forth his roots as Lebanon.

And then, I came to this one which stopped me in my tracks:

Luke 12:27 Consider the lilies how they grow, they neither toil or spin, yet I tell you not even Solomon in all his glory was arrayed like one of these.

These were the words of Jesus. It was as if he were speaking directly to me. Reading this verse, the lily was my baby. Consider the Lily, how she grows. Lily is growing inside me. She neither toils or spins. With everything going on during my pregnancy, Lily is not bothered by it. During the threatened miscarriage she held on, God had her wrapped in his arms, and showed me in the form of a heart. During the genetic testing, she was fine all along, even though I was a worried wreck. Even with a 2 vessel cord, and all of the scary possibilities, Lily was not bothered. Yet I tell you not even Solomon in all his glory was arrayed like one of these. It was as if Jesus was telling me that Lily is special, that he has a plan for her life, and that she is here on purpose.

What words of comfort Luke 12:27 are for me. God gave me this verse in late August, and his words comforted me through the remainder of my pregnancy. When my thoughts went astray, I would her God’s voice telling me, “Annie, consider the lilies…. “

When our girl was born Matt and I could think of no other name than Lily. She was always our Lily and we both loved it…. for so many reasons.

This verse is a consistent reminder to me not to worry. And now, my baby girl is also a consistent reminder to me not to worry.  She is living proof that God answers prayers and that we should have faith in our heavenly father. Every time I look into her sparkly blue eyes and see her smiling back at me, I am reminded of God’s grace and love.

Because of Lily, I will always remember “to consider the lilies….♥”~ Luke 12:27